One Cage at a Time

Dream Scenario - #058

If you love Nicolas Cage like we do, then this is a great time to be a fan. We’re living in the middle of the third Nicolas Cage renaissance or the Ren-Nic-Sance as we call it. There was the indie darling Ren-Nic-Sance the culminated with Leaving Las Vegas, the action Ren-Nic-Sance that was kicked off by the holy trilogy of The Rock, Con Air and Face/Off and now we’re in what I’d like to call the “I’m Nic Cage and I do whatever I want because I’m Nic Cage” Ren-Nic-Sance. Films like Mandy, Pig and the Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent kicked off this era but Nic proved this renaissance was just getting started last year when he starred in the Ari Aster produced horror dramedy Dream Scenario

A typical boring, college professor dad is suddenly thrust into the limelight when thousands of people around the world start inexplicably dreaming of him but what starts as a fun global experience quickly takes a dark turn when the dreams turn to nightmares and he has to navigate the consequences of his new unwanted fame.

Dream Scenario stars “that guy from that thing” character actor Dylan Baker, Emmy award winning actress Julianne Nicholson, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt regular and an actress who can’t help but make most men prematurely ejaculate Dylan Gelula, the Ladies Man himself Tim Meadows, a guy who can’t seem to stop flirting with his cousin Michael Cera and of course, the man of all of our dreams, Academy Award winning actor Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

The Croods 2 - #057

When we last left the world’s first family, The Croods were on their way to box office dominance and started a journey to find the perfect place to live. Unfortunately for the entire planet the continuation of their journey was pushed back due to development hell until the fall of 2020 which for some odd reason wasn’t a great time to be hanging out in movie theaters. Nevertheless The Croods managed to make another small fortune and learned to walk upright again just like the rest of us with The Croods: A New Age

The Croods continue their hunt for a new home away from the sprawling hellscape they left behind in the first movie only to stumble upon a walled-in idyllic paradise but there’s just one problem, this new land is already inhabited by some insufferable hippies who see The Croods as a bunch of unevolved primitive cavemen and soon hatch a plan to give neanderthals the boot and steal Guy for themselves.

The Croods: A New Age gives us one of the final performances from screen legend Cloris Leachman, newcomers to the franchise - the amazing Leslie Mann and everyone’s favorite Imp (George RR Martin’s words, not ours!) Peter Dinklage, Hollywood’s go-to when they need a snarky character Ryan Reynolds, Oscar winner Emma Stone and two-time nominee Catherine Keener, and of course the cave-dad we all wish we could get into a cuddle pile with, Academy Award winning actor Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse - #056

The last time Nicolas Cage did a Marvel movie we ended up with the disastrously awful 2011 film Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance, so in true Nic Cage fashion he followed up that blunder with a masterpiece. So throw on your spider suit, tie the belt on your trench coat and pop on a fedora as we take a brief journey to the incredible animated world of Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

After getting bitten by a radioactive spider from another dimension, teenage Miles Morales is forced to take up the mantle of Spider-Man so he and a group of Spider-People from the multiverse can stop the super villain Kingpin from activating a inter-dimensional collider capable of wiping out all of their universes.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse stars Dope star and scene stealer Shameik Moore, Rebooted Captain Kirk Chris Pine, Marvel’s new Hawkeye Hailee Steinfeld, New Girl star Jake Johnson, the new Blade (if it ever gets made) Mahershala Ali, Lily Tomlin playing a decidedly less stupid character than we saw in Ant Bully, SNL alum and standup comedian John Mulaney, Ray Donovan star and the Sabertooth we don’t talk about Live Schreiber, the voice of Baby Shark Kimiko Glenn and of course a real tough mug, yeah that’s right I’m talking a hard boy who can take down any biscuit boxer Academy Award winning actor Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

Teen Titans Go! To the Movies - #055

In the late 90’s Nicolas Cage’s boyhood dreams of playing Superman on the big screen were sadly crushed by studio production hell when the ill-fated Tim Burton Superman Lives film failed to get made but luckily for Nic, he’d get another chance…kinda. No, we’re not talking about that creepy CGI cameo in The Flash, we’re talking about the 2018 animated film Teen Titans Go! To the Movies

In a world where every superhero ever created is getting their own blockbuster movie the Teen Titans just want their shot at big screen immortality but the fat cats in charge deem the teens unworthy, that is until a supervillain named Slade uses mind control to take over the world and the Teen Titans are the only ones who can stop him. Teen Titans GO!

To the Movies stars a whole host of voice acting mainstays including Ezekiel from the Walking Dead Khary Payton, Miss Minutes from Loki and Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls Tara Strong, Princess Bubblegum from Adventure Time Hyden Walch, Michelangelo from the newest Ninja Turtles show Greg Cipes, the boy wonder himself Scott Menville and a whole host of star studded cameos from the likes of Will Arnett, Halsey, Jimmy Kimmel, Patton Oswalt, Kristen Bell, Wil Wheaton, the late great Stan Lee, Nic’s son Kal-El Cage and of course the only Superman in our hearts, Academy Award winning actor Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

Astro Boy - #054

As we’ve seen many times on this show, Nicolas Cage is an extremely nostalgic guy, so it makes perfect sense that he’d jump at the opportunity to play a role in an American film version of a Japanese Manga he grew up reading in the 60’s. So throw on your big red boots and join us as we dive into the dark dystopian world of Astro Boy

A brilliant scientist’s kid dies in an experiment gone wrong thanks to a meddling politician so he uses his knowledge to resurrect his son in the form of a super powered robot who can’t seem to find his place in the world of humans or robots.

Astro Boy stars the late great Donald Sutherland, legend of the screen and stage Nathan Lane, Veronica Mars herself Kristen Bell, G-Force star (that’s what he’s best known for) Bill Nighy, Samuel L Muthafuckin Jackson, everyone’s favorite character actor Robin Tudyk, Imperator Furiosa Charlize Theron, the legendary Eugene Levy, Nigel’s best buddy and jack of all voices Dee Bradley Baker, In Living Color alum David Alan Grier, Whose Line is it Anyway improv genius Ryan Stiles, Tim Burton’s Charlie Bucket – The Good Doctor and Bates Motel star Freddie Highmore and of course our films father of the year, Academy Award winning actor Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

G-Force - #053

We’ve seen Nicolas Cage take inspiration from cartoon characters more times than you would think on this show such as Woody Woodpecker in Raising Arizona, Pinocchio in Never on Tuesday and of course Pokey from The Gumby Show for Peggy Sue Got Married but what if Nic reused that ridiculous voice when, you know, it actually made sense? We’re about to find out as we hop into our individual hamster wheels and roll through Disney’s first ever live-action/computer animated hybrid film: G-Force

A team of genetically engineered super spy guinea pigs and a genius mole rat are the only ones who can save the world from an evil billionaire but thanks to government budget cuts they must first break out of a pet shop, escape the clutches of a teenage future serial killer and battle an army of sentient home appliances.

G-Force stars Nic’s Matchstick Men co-star and gift that keeps on giving Sam Rockwell, the man responsible for setting the entire tone of the MCU Jon Favreau, Gob Bluth and Bojack Horseman himself Will Arnett, British film and stage legend Bill Nighy, Academy Award winner and Nic’s Captain Corelli’s Mandolin love interest Penelope Cruz, a man who kind of resembles a guinea pig himself Zack Galifianakis, the one and only Tracy Morgan, The Marietta Mangler AKA Garland Greene AKA Steve Buscemi and of course the guy who finally figured out you can do cartoon character voices for actual cartoon characters, Academy Award winning actor Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

The Ant Bully - #052

In the late 90’s and early 2000’s movie studios were cranking out animated bug movies like crazy for some inexplicable reason, so it makes sense that Tom Hanks decided to cash in on this short-lived craze and produce a theatrical version of a popular kids book while casting some of the heaviest hitters in Hollywood to star in it. Unfortunately, despite decent reviews the film ended up bombing at the box office and was largely forgotten about almost immediately. Strap on your ant goggles, grab a bowl of honey doo and join us as we clacktiel our way through the best film that old crappy dial up computer in the family room can produce: The Ant Bully

When a 10-year-old hell spawn of a child keeps destroying their ant colony, an ant wizard creates a potion that shrinks the boy down to ant size where he is forced to live among the colony to learn the errors of his ways or remain small forever and most likely be eaten or stomped to death. Spoilers, when you meet this kid, you’ll want to stomp him to death too.

The Ant Bully stars legendary actress and heart of this film Julia Roberts, the undisputed greatest actress of all time Meryl Streep, the guy who stole Nic’s Dream Scenario Golden Globe Paul Giamatti, Oscar, Emmy and Golden Globe winner Regina King, Ash Williams himself Bruce Campbell, one of the greatest comedienne’s to ever live Lily Tomlin, the kid who would eventually play Aang in Avatar: The Last Airbender Zack Tyler Eisen, KAAAAAAHHHHNNNN and of course the wizard I want protecting my ant hill, Academy Award winning actor Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

The Croods - #051

It might shock you to learn that Nicolas Cage’s highest grossing film didn’t come from his Holy Trilogy of The Rock, Con Air or Face/Off, nor his two turns as Benjamin Franklin Gates in the National Treasure series but rather from a 2013 animated film that racked up over half a billion at the box office. So come along with us as we Oonga Boonga our way through the first of two films starring Nic as an overprotective cave-dad: The Croods

A caveman father and his prehistoric family must face the hard truth that their way of life is coming to an end as they battle through a harsh new mysterious world with the aid of a young hunk that everyone’s favorite cave-dad isn’t too happy his daughter is taking an interest in.

The Croods stars Deadpool himself Ryan Reynolds, two-time Academy Award winner Emma Stone, Nic’s Kick-Ass co-star and Hot Tub Time Machine star Clark Duke, an indie darling who is quite the boggle player as we learned in Adaptation Catherine Keener, legendary Oscar winning actress whose incredible career spanned EIGHT decades Cloris Leachman, and of course the man who puts the Oonga in all of our Boonga’s Academy Award winning actor and father of the year Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

Never On Tuesday #050

In 1989 Cary Elwes, Charlie Sheen, Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson and Nicolas Cage were already bonified leading man Hollywood stars, so how in the name of God were they convinced to show up as bit characters in a horribly written cheesy as all hell 80’s “comedy” that feels like it was written by a horny 13 year old on acid? We’ll do our best to figure that out as we suffer through 90 minutes of wall to wall torture momentarily broken up by possibly Nicolas Cage’s most wacky over the top character of all time: Never On Tuesday

Two doofuses slam into the only other car on a deserted highway on their way to California then ogle a smoking hot lesbian for the duration of the film while major Hollywood stars show up randomly to deliver the worst performances of their careers. They should have just called this “hey, you know how like women are hot? THE MOVIE”.

Never On Tuesday stars a guy who grew up to look like he has to go door to door to explain that he touched an 8 year old once but it was a huge misunderstanding and eventually found his calling as the director of Friday Night Lights Peter Berg, a bit part actor who is probably best known as “satellite technician” in Iron Man 3 Andy Lauer, the poor women who has to spend the entirety of this film dodging the advances of the creepiest batch of assholes ever assembled in one film who is best known as Susan Ivanova on Babylon 5 Claudia Christian, AND for some inexplicable reason features cameos from Cary Elwes, Gilbert Gottfried, Charlie Sheen, Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson and of course the only reason we’re watching this piece of crap Academy Award winning actor and weirdest Ferrari owner on Earth Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage - #049

You’d think if you were given Nicolas Cage, Tom Sizemore, Thomas Jane and one of the most fascinating tales to come from easily the most memorable war in history it would make for one hell of a movie and an absolute slam dunk at the box office. You’d think. Instead, we got a boring, pandering mess with some of the worst CGI since Sharknado, a critical and box office bomb that sunk the careers of everyone involved. With that in mind let’s all take some sea sickness pills, clutch your dismembered body parts tight and try not to kill yourselves till the end as we do our best to survive USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage

As much as we wish we could just play Quint’s speech from Jaws here since it is a masterfully delivered synopsis of our story, it is far too powerful and captivating to accurately describe what happens in this movie. Instead we’ll keep it brief, unlike this unnecessarily long film, and say the USS Indianapolis is sent on a top secret mission to deliver parts for the atomic bomb but on their way home are sunk by a Japanese submarine and left to be feasted on by sharks for the next five days that seem to go on in real time as we all slowly die with them.

USS Indianapolis: Men of Spirits of Courage New Orleans stars Nic’s Bringing Out the Dead co-star who really hops off the screen in this one: Tom Sizemore, the OG Punisher himself Thomas Jane, a character actor with over 40 years in the biz who is probably still best known as Ajax from the Warriors James Remar, a whole host of promising young actors whose careers were catastrophically destroyed by this film, and of course, the captain of this steaming pile of ship (get it) an Academy Award winning actor who should be court martialed for making us sit through this film Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.