Never On Tuesday #050

In 1989 Cary Elwes, Charlie Sheen, Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson and Nicolas Cage were already bonified leading man Hollywood stars, so how in the name of God were they convinced to show up as bit characters in a horribly written cheesy as all hell 80’s “comedy” that feels like it was written by a horny 13 year old on acid? We’ll do our best to figure that out as we suffer through 90 minutes of wall to wall torture momentarily broken up by possibly Nicolas Cage’s most wacky over the top character of all time: Never On Tuesday

Two doofuses slam into the only other car on a deserted highway on their way to California then ogle a smoking hot lesbian for the duration of the film while major Hollywood stars show up randomly to deliver the worst performances of their careers. They should have just called this “hey, you know how like women are hot? THE MOVIE”.

Never On Tuesday stars a guy who grew up to look like he has to go door to door to explain that he touched an 8 year old once but it was a huge misunderstanding and eventually found his calling as the director of Friday Night Lights Peter Berg, a bit part actor who is probably best known as “satellite technician” in Iron Man 3 Andy Lauer, the poor women who has to spend the entirety of this film dodging the advances of the creepiest batch of assholes ever assembled in one film who is best known as Susan Ivanova on Babylon 5 Claudia Christian, AND for some inexplicable reason features cameos from Cary Elwes, Gilbert Gottfried, Charlie Sheen, Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson and of course the only reason we’re watching this piece of crap Academy Award winning actor and weirdest Ferrari owner on Earth Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.