One Cage at a Time

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance - # 029

In 2011 Sony pictures, desperate to hold onto the film rights to Ghost Rider, made a movie so unbearably bad that it single handedly ended the franchise, lead to the rights of the character to revert back to Marvel Studios and forced Nicolas Cage to quit doing blockbuster films for good. Join us as we suffer through an absolute dumpster fire that not even Nic Cage, Idris Elba, Ciaran Hinds and Christopher Lambert could save featuring villains with the most punchable faces since...well since the original Ghost Rider: Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance.

Eight years after the events of the first film, though bafflingly featuring a somewhat different origin story, opposite character motivations from the ending of part one and completely different Mephistopheles, Johnny Blaze is hiding out in Eastern Europe where he is tasked by an alcoholic motorcycle riding monk with tracking down the devil’s son and rescuing him from Satan himself.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance features the incredible and underutilized Idris Elba, the Highlander himself Christopher Lambert, the always memorable Ciaran Hinds, a man whose face you’ll yearn to punch whether he’s a human or a demon Johnny Whitworth, Italian Actress Violante Placido and the only man who can piss fire and not make it seem stupid, just kidding it’s fucking ridiculous Academy Award winning actor and the only man who will ever hold the mantle of Ghost Rider in our hearts Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

Lord of War - # 028

In 2005, the man who brought us Gattaca and The Truman Show teamed up with Nicolas Cage to shine a light on the shady underbelly of illegal arms trafficking and produced a film is just as relevant now as it was then. So break out your Kalashnikov’s and pour a few lines of cocaine and gunpowder as we breakdown one of my all-time favorite Nicolas Cage films: Lord of War.

Yuri Orlov lived the American dream. He went from a child of immigrants barely squeaking by in New York to marrying his dream girl and settling down in a multi-million dollar home overlooking Central Park but behind closed doors he earned his fortune by selling arms to the highest bidder and built an empire in coated blood.

Lord of War hosts an incredible cast including four time Academy Award nominee Ethan Hawke, Bilbo Baggins himself or Ash from Alien depending on how old you are: Ian Holm, the lovely and talented Bridget Moynahan, an actor whose name always makes me cringe when I see it in the credits – Oscar winner, musician and cult leader (seriously, look it up) Jared Leto and the only man I buy my guns from Academy Award winning actor Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

Valley Girl - #027

What originally started as a sexy teen exploitation film to capitalize on the popularity of a 1982 Frank Zappa song turned into a surprise hit that has since become a cult classic but more importantly it featured the very first starring role of a man who would go on to become a legend. Sure, Nicolas Coppola had been in a few things, but Nicolas Cage wasn’t born until the 1983 romantic comedy: Valley Girl.

Julie Richman has it all, good looks, popularity and a hunky boyfriend but when a punk from Hollywood walks into her life she begins to question what she really wants and is torn between fitting in with her vapid friends or following her heart.

Valley Girl stars Nicolas Cage’s then crush Deborah Foreman, the woman who would go on to voice Tommy Pickles on the Rugrats E.G. Daily, that nerdy girl from Real Genius Michelle Meyrink, some other people and of course, as if you didn’t know the only man who can like, for sure, turn a valley girl into a normal human Academy Award winning actor Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

The Trust - #026

Two years before his production company Spectrevision cast Nicolas Cage in Mandy and Color Out of Space, Elijah Wood teamed up with everyone’s favorite actor for a movie that was released exclusively to DirecTV that oddly enough features the final film performance of Jerry Lewis’ career. With those weird details in mind, kick back as we break down a 2016 crime thriller black comedy that’s, trust me on this one, way more fun than you’d expect: The Trust.

When a couple of low-level evidence room cops stumble upon a hidden vault they go all in on what could be the score of a lifetime but things get messy when they realize they might have bitten off more than they can chew and their desperation to cash in might just be the last mistake of their lives.

The Trust stars Frodo Baggins himself Elijah Woods, a guy who still can’t spot a sailboat in a magic eye painting Ethan Suplee, MySpace pop star turned actress Sky Ferreira and the owner of the undisputed best mustache working in Hollywood today Academy Award winning actor Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent - #025

A film about Nicolas Cage, starring Nicolas Cage as Nick Cage. Did someone steal our fan fiction novel? This may be the single most meta movie ever made and a Nicolas Cage fans wet dream but does this self-referential love letter to Nicolas Cage do the man justice? We’ll find out as we breakdown an aptly named homage to everyone’s favorite actor The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.

With his acting career going nowhere, his family life crumbling and facing financial ruin, a fictional version of Nicolas Cage accepts a $1 million offer to hang out at an obsessed wealthy fan’s birthday party. But things take a turn when the CIA recruits Nic to spy on his new found friend.

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent stars the Mandalorian himself Pedro Pascal, Doogie Howser MD AKA Neil Patrick Harris, Emmy and Grammy award winning comedian/actress Tiffany Haddish, and of course, the man who puts the N-I-C in Nick Cage, Academy Award winning actor and the man who holds the unbearable weight of his incredibly massive talent upon his legendary shoulders, Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

Prisoners of the Ghostland - #024

What the hell even is this movie? A live action anime, a western, a samurai film, a post-apocalyptic grind house thriller, an art piece, an assault on the senses, the weirdest most annoying film I’ve watched in years? Maybe all of the above. So, strap in as we breakdown the movie Nicolas Cage says is the wildest film he’s ever made, for better or worse: Prisoners of the Ghostland.

In the frontier city of Samurai Town (not a joke) a ruthless bank robber named Hero (also not a joke) is sprung from jail by a wealthy warlord whose adopted granddaughter has gone missing in a shadowy region known as the ghost land. In exchange for freedom, Hero must retrieve the girl within five days while strapped in a self-destructing suit or have his limbs blown off one by one.

Prisoners of the Ghostland reteams Nic with his Face/Off co-star Nick Cassavetes, stars Algerian Golden Raspberry nominated actress Sofia Boutella, perennial horror movie veteran Bill Mosely and of course, the only man who can have a testicle blown off and keep on going, Academy Award winner and the Hero of this bewildering pandemonium, Nicolas Kim Coppola, better known as Nicolas Cage.

Matchstick Men -#023

Team the legendary Ridley Scott coming off Gladiator, Hannibal and Blackhawk Down with the one and only Nicolas Cage and you’re sure to have a smash hit on your hands, right? Not so much. Which is a shame because this largely forgotten critically acclaimed 2003 film features a phenomenal performance from Nicolas Cage that’ll make you want to laugh so hard you’ll PISS BLOOD! So, enjoy the insanity of Nic’s one and only collaboration with Ridley Scott as we break down Matchstick Men.

When an obsessive-compulsive con artist with Tourette’s syndrome named Roy Waller and his partner get tired of pulling small time cons, they decide to go for a big score, but things quickly get complicated when Roy’s long-lost daughter arrives on the scene and we’re left to wonder who is really getting conned.

Matchstick Men features the one and only onscreen collaboration between Nic Cage and the always spellbinding Sam Rockwell, a breakout performance from 23-year-old teenager Alison Lohman, legendary character actor Bruce McGill, Bruce Altman and the only man I want cleaning my apartment, Academy Award winning actor and flimflam man Nicolas Kim Coppola, better known as Nicolas Cage.

Moonstruck -#022

In Nicolas Cage’s illustrious career only one film he’s appeared in has ever been nominated for best picture. Sure, there have been plenty of snubs: Deadfall, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Jiu Jitsu, Never on Tuesday, Willy’s Wonderland, just to name a few. So what is it about this Cher starring romantic comedy that sets it apart? We’ll find out as we break down number 8 on AFI’s top 10 romantic comedies of all time: Moonstruck

When a desperate to settle down widow accepts a marriage proposal from her doofus of a boyfriend, she’s tasked with tracking down his little brother who blames him for an accident, but as she soon finds out, his little brother is a passionate beefcake she finds absolutely irresistible, and they fall madly in love.

Moonstruck features an incredible cast which lead to three Oscar nominated performances (by actor’s not named Nicolas Cage) including wins by the one and only Cher for best actress as well as Olympia Dukakis who won for best supporting actress, Vincent Gardenia who was nominated for best supporting actor (but lost to Sean Connery for The Untouchables), late greats Danny Aiello and John Mahoney AKA Frasier Crane’s dad and of course, the only man I want cutting my bread, Nicolas Kim Coppola, better known as Nicolas Cage.

Joe -#021

In the midst of financial troubles, Nicolas Cage turned down a huge Expendables 3 pay day to team up with director David Gordon Green and a young Tye Sheridan to make a film most people have likely never heard of…and it’s an absolute shame because what they created is a hidden gem that might just be one of the best performances Nicolas Cage has ever delivered. So settle in as we dive deep into this brutal and heartbreaking forgotten indie film: Joe

When an ex-con takes a destitute young drifter under his wing he becomes an unlikely role model but when he finds out the boys father is abusing him he’s faced with the ultimate choice between redemption and ruin.

Joe features spellbinding performances from pre-cyclops/pre-Ready Player One Tye Sheridan, the one and only performance from actual homeless person and the man this film is dedicated to Gary Poulter, and Joe himself, Academy Award winning actor and the man I want in my corner when things get dark, Nicolas Kim Coppola, better known as Nicolas Cage.

Bad Lieutenant Port of Call New Orleans -#20

Why make a follow up to a controversial film that even director Werner Herzog didn’t think should be named after it since they share little to nothing in common? Because without that established IP we’d never get a chance to see Nicolas Cage smoke crack in a mainstream film. So, get ready for a bumpy drug filled romp through the streets of post-Katrina New Orleans as we breakdown an unnecessary follow up with a ridiculously long name: Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans.

After a back injury, “good cop turned bad” Terrence McDonagh is having a rough go of it. His painkiller addiction has spiraled out of control, he owes money all over town and the only person who can pull him back from the edge of destruction is his prostitute girlfriend.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans reteams Nic with his Ghost Rider sweetheart Eva Mendes, stars two-time Academy nominee Michael Shannon, Pimp My Ride’s Xzibit, the always great in other things besides this movie Jennifer Colidge, the legendary and severely underutilized Val Kilmer and, the only man I want visiting my grandma in a nursing home, Academy Award winning actor, Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.