One Cage at a Time

How do you improve upon a movie from the 70’s with an almost incoherent plot that seemed to be made specifically to show off cool cars and then destroy them? By making a movie in the 2000’s with an almost incoherent plot that seemed to be made specifically to show off cool cars and then destroy them starring Nicolas Cage. So come along as we suffer through the most Michael Bay movie that wasn’t made by Michael Bay: Gone in 60 Seconds.

“Memphis” Randall Raines was once the best car thief in the business before walking away from his life of crime but when his idiot brother gets in trouble with a lunatic crime lord, Memphis must once again strap on some driving gloves to pull off the job of a lifetime.

Gone in 60 Seconds features a stellar cast such as the one and only Robert Duvall, Angelina Jolie, Giovanni Ribisi and of course, our films Eleanor, Academy Award winner and gift to all mankind Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage

A Nicolas Cage movie made in the last three years with a 90% on Rotten Tomatoes. Does this fantasy horror thriller blood bath live up to the hype? Spoilers: it absolutely god damned does and more. So sit back as we breakdown the 2018 Panos Cosmatos modern classic Mandy. T

he year is 1983 in the Shadow Mountains where Red Miller and Mandy Bloom live a peaceful and loving existence that is shattered when a sadistic cult leader takes an unhealthy interest in Mandy that eventually leads Red down a phantasmagoric journey of vengeance.

Mandy features incredible performances by Andrea Risenborough as Mandy and Linus Roache as Jeremiah Sand as well as an unexpected reappearance by Bill Duke of Predator fame, and of course Academy Award Winner and the undisputed baddest MF in the Shadow Mountains: Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

Nicolas Cage and Willem Dafoe together in a movie written and directed by the guy who wrote Taxi Driver and Raging Bull. This movie must be incredible, right? WRONG! So come along with us see as we try to figure out the nonsensical aimless mess that is Dog Eat Dog.

Three recently released ex-cons join forces to pull off the crime of their lives by kidnapping a baby to hold for ransom but when the job doesn’t go as planned things quickly go sideways as they find themselves running from both the cops and the mob.

Dog Eat Dog stars the one and only Willem Dafoe, Christopher Mathew Cook, writer/director Paul Schrader (unfortunately) and of course the man with the plan, Academy Award Winner and stretched out version of Humphrey Bogart: Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

How can you possibly improve upon an amazing performance by Nicolas Cage playing a weatherman stuck in a downward spiral of self-loathing and shame? By pelting the poor bastard with fast food at every turn, that’s how! So come along as we get meteorological breaking down The Weather Man.

David Spritz is a local Chicago TV weatherman who has won the lottery at life but despite his success he feels constant shame thanks in part to the pressure to live up to his Pulitzer Prize winning father and his rapidly deteriorating family life.

The Weather Man features the legendary Michael Caine, Hope Davis, future warboy Nicholas Hoult and of course the master forecaster himself, Academy Award Winner and actor extraordinaire: Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

How is it remotely possible that one of the greatest directors of all time could join forces with the human powerhouse that is Nicolas Cage at the height of his career and still manage to come out with a box office bomb? We’ll find out as we slog through two hours of Martin Scorsese hitting random on his jukebox and setting it to guys driving around in ambulances as we breakdown Brining Out the Dead.

After kind of killing some random teenage girl on the street by not choosing the proper medical course of action, Frank Pierce must confront his demons as he slowly collapses from the hellish nightmare of working as a paramedic in early 90’s New York City.

Bringing Out the Dead features an incredible cast including John Goodman, Ving Rhames, Tom Sizemore, Nic’s then wife Patricia Arquette and of course, the guy Martin Scorsese went to between his love affairs with Robert DeNiro and Leonardo DiCaprio, Academy Award Winner and God among men Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

What happens when you take a classic Lovecraft short story, sprinkle in a bit of Nic Cage insanity and toss it in a visually stunning stew? You get a modern classic and possibly the best HP Lovecraft story yet to be put to film. So buckle up as we break down the technicolored fever dream that is: Color Out of Space.

Nicolas Cage and his family moved to the sticks to get away from the rat race of life but when a meteorite filled with inter-dimensional wackiness lands on their farm, life takes a dramatic and horrifying turn.

The film stars Madeleine Arthur, Joely Richardson, Elliot Knight, the always a treat to see pop up in anything Tommy Chong, and of course, the absolute god damned legend that is Academy Award Winner and greatest actor living today Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

What happens when you take a guy who can make a normal every day ordinary character seem insane and have him play an actual insane person? Absolute, unabashed, magic that’s what! So let’s break this masterpiece down from A, B, C, D all the way through Z as we talk about Vampire’s Kiss.

After a kinky night with a beautiful woman who loves extreme hickies, a full of himself lunatic literary agent and inexplicable ladies man begins to suspect he’s slowly turning into a vampire.

The film stars Maria Conchita Alonso of Running Man and Predator 2 fame, the lovely Jennifer Beals from Flashdance, Elizabeth Ashley, and of course, our films Nosferatu, Academy Award Winner and the greatest actor alive today Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

How can a noir tale featuring three Oscar winners that was directed by a Coppola and written by the same guy who wrote Green Book possibly be bad? We’re about to find out. So come along with us as we have some fun time family fun breaking down Deadfall.

After accidentally killing his father during a con gone wrong Joe (played by Michael Biehn) attempts to carry out his father’s dying wish by tracking down something stolen by his dad’s twin brother years earlier, but things soon take a twisted turn as Joe gets drawn back into the life he thought he’d left behind.

Deadfall features an all-star cast including Michael Biehn, Sarah Trigger, James Coburn, Peter Fonda, Charlie Sheen, Talia Shire and of course the one, the only, the brilliant Academy Award Winner Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage

Some might say consuming six full glasses of whiskey, a 12 pack of PBR, a bottle of wine and a mint julep is a tad much for one man to drink over a roughly 12 hour period but they forget that man is a God and his name is Nicolas Cage.

Today we’re looking at his only starring role to ever warrant the dreaded 0% on Rotten Tomatoes: Grand Isle A young father and husband has been charged with murder on Grand Isle and the only way he can prove his innocence is to recount a twisted and dark night of events involving a war vet played by a constantly with a drink in one hand and gun in the other Nic Cage and his sex starved wife to a skeptical detective played by Frasier Crane himself, Kelsey Grammer.

Grand Isle stars KaDee Strickland, Luke Benward, Kelsey Grammer and of course the legend, an American national treasure HA and the greatest actor living today Academy Award Winner Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage

How many women can a grown man punch, kick and elbow directly in the face before it’s no longer satisfying? We’ll find out the answer to this question and more as we breakdown The Wicker Man.

 

Edward Malus is a Northern California motorcycle cop, whose ex-fiancée Willow Woodward informs him that her daughter Rowan has disappeared and asks for his assistance in her search. When he arrives at the island where Rowan was last seen, he suspects something sinister about the neo-pagans who reside on the island. It is of course a remake of the far superior but also not great 1973 film of the same name.

 

The Wicker Man stars Ellen Burstyn, Kate Beahan, Leelee Sobieski and of course our hero Academy Award Winning actor Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.